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If you have read this quote I was lazy, forgetful, or far too rushed to find an interesting one. So, cheers to that.

-Joshua Baechle, 2019

Useless Background

First and foremost, in case this post look familiar to a few of you: This is a refresh from one of my pre-blog recipes, originally posted on Facebook. Thats also why the pictures are so sparse.

It is no secret that I maintain a healthy abhorrence of cauliflower, for numerous reasons. While others may extol the virtues of the devils weed, I have found it a pale substitute for other foods, I generally avoid it like the plague (or at very least, like a persistent tax collector). In 98% of instances, there are better options better tasting and with less work.

Now that we have that clear, it is time for a confession: Even I, the most ardent adversary of Ketos false god, have two cauliflower recipes. And abhorrent as it may be, I have been taskedby the Facebook hordes with relating one of them to you here.

(Reluctantly) Introducing: My Cauliflower Colcannon.

For those unfamiliar with colcannon, it is an Irish mashed potato dish generally thick and hand-mashed, with green vegetables and just enough cream to make it properly decadent (Ive been told the cream is non-standard, but so is the cauliflower. Sod it all and enjoy it anyway!).Top itoff withjust a touch of herb-seasoned butter, it can fill you for a whole day on a single serving, or be paired with any meat you desire (except chicken).

I like mine creamy rather than chunky, so I use a heavy hand when blending feel free to dial it back if youd rather something a little more traditional (or just mash instead of blending in the first place).

As a final note, when I originally posted this recipe on Facebook, a lot of people asked why I didnt add cabbage or bacon to this recipe. Both are good questions, and both have good reasons for being left out:

  • Bacon: Bacon is left out because it does not crisp up properly in the Instant Pot, and I like keeping things simple. Add it if you wish, but understand that youll be cooking it separate and adding it as a garnish.
  • Cabbage: While cabbage is the more traditional green, I grew up on spinach and like it better. Also, its worth noting that cabbage and cauliflower are both cruciferous vegetables, rich in raffinose. Google (or click) cruciferous vegetable digestive issues for more details than any sane person wants.

Ingredients & Recipe

Primary Ingredients

Optional Ingredients

  • 1 oz Spinach (kept separate)
  • 1 oz Butter (kept separate)
  • 1 tbsp Sour Cream

Special Equipment

Tip: If you like your colcannon chunkier, only use 1/2 cup of heavy cream, and 3/4 cup of chicken broth.

Instructions

  1. Smile. I know, its cauliflower, and you dont feel like smiling over it, but smile anyway. We all have to do dirty things to survive, sometimes.
  2. Load the chicken broth, spinach, garlic powder, oregano, basil, and cauliflower into the instant pot.
  3. Set the Instant Pot for Manual High Pressure 5 Minutes.
  4. Lets be honest. Pressure cookers take awhile to come to temp. Use that time to get out your bowls, chop your optional spinach, and get the table clean.
  5. Once the timer beeps, quick-release and (when safe) pull the lid. Leave the Instant Pot on warm for steps 6 8.
  6. Add the butter and heavy cream to the Instant Pot. I know! It still looks like cauliflower but dont worry, thats where step 7 comes in.
  7. Using an immersion blender, break down and blend everything. If you want something chunkier, use a potato masher instead. Either way, mutilate that cauliflower until its unrecognizable.
  8. Add the cheese, and turn the Instant Pot off. Relax a little. It doesnt even look like cauliflower, now. Your sins will go unconfessed.
  9. Split the colcannon into bowls, add optional garnishes.
  10. Devour the colcannon. And try not to think about whats in it.

Guestimated Nutrition Facts

I am neither a nutritionist nor great at math you have been warned.

Additional Photos


Assorted Legalese

While I will never recommend a product I dont use or personally endorse, I do receive a small fee from Amazon for any products ordered through the recipe links. This lets me keep all other advertising nonsense off this site, and ensures that Im only promoting the products /I/ choose to endorse, and only for the people who decide to purchase them and support me.

Oh, and Amazon wants me to specifically add: I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

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